No… I’m in Charge!
Conflict. Someone else in the immediate area wants to take charge.
Your instinct may be to let them do it, because then, if everything goes wrong, it’s their fault… despite the fact that there is a little voice in the back of your head saying you should step up and take on the responsibility because you’re more qualified. Or you may want to challenge them physically, because you have to be in charge, because, well, you just have to be. Or you are afraid of making a serious mistake, and hide your knowledge despite the fact that everyone needs the wisdom you’ve stored up for just such a moment.
When you see these inner thoughts in stark text, you know that they are obviously wrong. But unfortunately, that’s how things often work in reality. Question is, how do you resolve the conflict if it comes up in real life?
The best case scenario is where you and the other person are rational beings. You talk together, come to a consensus as to which of you can be of best use to the group as the leader, and then you both agree wholeheartedly on who should lead. My guess is that this kind of group will do well in any circumstances.
NEVER be in a group with two leaders. Sharing responsibility means not taking responsibility. That may work in a seminar at a weekend retreat… but not in an emergency situation. Decisions have to be made quickly, and all must act on them quickly, or disaster usually ensues. I’m sorry if this sounds like dead-head military thinking. But a single focus works best when the stakes are high.
It does not mean that the leader shouldn’t poll the rest of the people for their wisdom and advice. There is safety in a multitude of counselors. The best idea may come from the most unlikely source. A good leader listens carefully and respectfully to their second in command, even when things are getting hairy. But there needs to be one person who makes the final decision. Or there will be unnecessary casualties.
So if the other person is more qualified… and that’s really only a guess between the two of you, but that’s all you’ll have to work with… be wise and let them have the helm. If you are better qualified, pray that they will feel the same way and give in graciously.
What if they do not? What if they are obnoxious and egocentric, without being better suited for the role? Well, an emergency situation is not the military. Free choice is still the operative function until you commit to another’s leadership.
My suggestion is to split off and go your own way, with no hard feelings, if possible. Physical confrontation always leaves everyone weaker, even the winner. Go you own way, with as many as wish to go with you. Peacefully let the others go their own way. I hate to say it, but we’ve all seen this in more movies than we can say. One group survives, and one doesn’t fare as well. Life is generally that way. That’s why we believe it when we see it in a movie.
Final thought is… why not prepare yourself with learning and knowledge and training and maybe even a few supplies, so that it will be clear beyond a shadow of a doubt that you know what you’re doing. Then if you run into someone who is even more qualified, how wonderful! Your chances of survival will be just about as high as they can be for the circumstances. I hope that’s the way it works out for you, if and when you find yourself in an emergency situation.
